Pulse

   My older sister, Han, is in Dubai right now. She left to find some work there, and has gone for almost a year already.

  This conversation was held via Facebook Chat at 3:58 in the morning of June 2. All of these is non-verbatim as the lines were trimmed and conversed in dialect.

H: How are you? How's school?

D: Haha, are you joking? It's summer vacation!

H: Haha, I forgot. Hey, has mom told you anything yet? About something important?

D: Nothing yet. What about?

H: It's about me. Guess first before I tell you what it is.

D: Don't play this game with me! I don't like guessing with that tone. Just tell me what it is, ok!

H: I said, guess first!

D: Uhm.... are you going home? are you pregnant? What is it? Tell me!

H: Maybe, I'm coming home not later than next year.

D: Are you serious? Why?

H: You got two points. I am now delayed and my pulses are acting fast lately. I'm coming home because single women can't be pregnant around here. I might be jailed if they knew. Don't tell anyone else yet, especially dad.

   At this point, I was already sweating heavily. A fan is concentrated on me, but it just doesn't work. I can feel my heartbeat thumping as I was caught off guard with the news. 

D: Are you kidding me? Tell me this isn't serious.

H: I'm not messing with you, ok. This is serious. Keep this a secret until I know I'm ready.

D: Ok, but are you sure it's not hysterical pregnancy? Have you tried the pregnancy test?

H: I haven't bought any test, as I am afraid that others here will find out that I acquired one. And I don't know yet, but I monitor my period since the past two years. It is only today that I was a month delayed already. Plus, you didn't know this, but I had an active sex life when I was there, but it was all withdrawal. This man I am meeting here, also a Filipino, inserted it and came inside of me.

D: What? Why did you let him be unprotected?

H: I don't know. But it has already happened.

D: :(

H: Don't be sad. You are going to be an uncle already.

D: I honestly do not know how to react on this.

   I was telling the truth. I didn't know how to react. I am afraid that I am to blow the whistle to everyone, thinking that me and mom are the only people who know about this family matter. Mom can keep a secret very well, but I don't think I can. Especially when it's about my  sister who is away.

   The conversation ended with a brownout, so I got disconnected. But before that, she asked me to research if a faster, irregular pulse rate is a sign of pregnancy. And soon I find out that it can be. The electricity went out before I could even reply a message.